(4 votes, average: 4.25 out of 5)

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This is one of my favorite stories to tell. I’m sure if you have a piercer at your shop then he’s just like ours, lacking the attention span to be a tattoo artist, completely highstrung and always obnoxious. Fortunately for me, I have a story I can tell that puts him in his place rather quickly when he’s showing off for costumers.
One day our piercer was outside talking to one of the employees at a neighboring business. When he came in he ran to the back of the shop and after a bit came slowly up to the front counter. He placed his palms down on the counter and kinda hung his head. I asked what was wrong and he replied, “Its gonna be a bad day, I have to go home.” I asked why and finally got it out of him what had happened. He pleaded with the owner to let him go for about 10 min but wouldn’t give up his reason for having to leave. I stepped in and told the owner it was neccessary for our piercer to leave and he gave he ok. As soon as the piercer walked out the door I gathered everyone to watch him get in his car. He kept looking at his car seat kinda worried and the owner finally says, “what the hell is he doing”? At that point anything the piercer confided in telling me walked right out the door with him- HE SHIT HIS PANTS!!!! HE TRIED TO FART ON THAT GUY HE WAS TALKING TO OUTSIDE, AND HE SHIT ALL OVER HIS LEG!! NOW HE’S TRYING TO FIND THE BEST WAY TO SIT IN IT SO HE CAN DRIVE HOME AND SHOWER!

(3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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We had a new guy around the shop mopping our floors and whatever, he may have been an apprentice or something like it. We caught him not doing anything and told him he should make a poo dollar- if your not familiar, its exactly what it sounds like. He placed it out by the street and we watched and watched all day and soon forgot about it. The next day we came in and the owner was throwing a fit. His father in law came in town the night before and while they were out for drinks the owner said he didn’t have any cash for a tip. His father in law replied, “Don’t worry about it…” pulled a dollar out of his pocket, “…I found  this one outside your shop, looks like some one had spit their tobacco in it, but I just wiped it off.” . . .that apprentice only worked for us for 2 weeks.

(3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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we used to do a weekly karaoke night at a local dive bar it was always a good time, hardly anybody  would show up so plenty of chances to sing. the bar was owned by a woman that also owned a lesbian bar,so girls would come to sing when there was nothing to do at the gay bar. the dive bar was also a favorite white trash hick hang out. well anyway we would sing fun or silly tunes while the hicks would sing bon jovi and the eagles, the lesbians would sing sappy love songs. well the very next day my afternoon appointment was a mullet rocking woman loving woman and i had to draw the blinds to tattoo her. well my coworker was busy tattooing on the other side of those blinds and we start talking about how fun the night before had been, i said “how bout that mullet man with that fucking mustache singing wanted dead or alive,what an ass!!” my friend replied ” not as bad as that fucking dyke singing all those lame love songs”. well i try to snuff this bad comment with”not even as bad as the hickstache guy he looked like a child molester singing bad rock and he was the worst shit i have seen in a while” my friends response was ” all those dykes need to go back to the dyke bar and stop torturing us with those shitty love songs,they look like sensitive lumberjacks” after that we shut our mouths. i said sorry to the lesbian in the chair she said it was ok but i could tell she was pissed. we finished our tattoos and sent our clients away, i said to my friend ” dude my client was a lesbian!!!” he said “mine was a mustache wearing hick,he wanted to kill you!!!”we both laughed and laughed never to shit talk through blinds again.