(3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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we used to do a weekly karaoke night at a local dive bar it was always a good time, hardly anybody  would show up so plenty of chances to sing. the bar was owned by a woman that also owned a lesbian bar,so girls would come to sing when there was nothing to do at the gay bar. the dive bar was also a favorite white trash hick hang out. well anyway we would sing fun or silly tunes while the hicks would sing bon jovi and the eagles, the lesbians would sing sappy love songs. well the very next day my afternoon appointment was a mullet rocking woman loving woman and i had to draw the blinds to tattoo her. well my coworker was busy tattooing on the other side of those blinds and we start talking about how fun the night before had been, i said “how bout that mullet man with that fucking mustache singing wanted dead or alive,what an ass!!” my friend replied ” not as bad as that fucking dyke singing all those lame love songs”. well i try to snuff this bad comment with”not even as bad as the hickstache guy he looked like a child molester singing bad rock and he was the worst shit i have seen in a while” my friends response was ” all those dykes need to go back to the dyke bar and stop torturing us with those shitty love songs,they look like sensitive lumberjacks” after that we shut our mouths. i said sorry to the lesbian in the chair she said it was ok but i could tell she was pissed. we finished our tattoos and sent our clients away, i said to my friend ” dude my client was a lesbian!!!” he said “mine was a mustache wearing hick,he wanted to kill you!!!”we both laughed and laughed never to shit talk through blinds again.

(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)

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Not that we get any, but a passed chance for a prank call is looked down on around these parts. The prank calls I have witnessed have been mind blowing. Some at the shop are better than others at this fine art,and the moments the have shined have made my day more than once. This story came from a time when we worked in an upstairs office in a ruff area of town. Drugs and green cards were sold from a pay phone across the street, we could see it from our window. So we got the number and started calling. Vic was the master and he would pretend to be a drug dealer or a cop it always ended with something crude or rude, well any way this one time he was trying to fuck with this gangster and it was going nowhere fast. So he bluntly told this guy he wanted to fuck him in the ass. The guy jumped back looked at the phone and yelled into it “what the fuck!!!”then vic replied calmly”I want to fuck you in your ass” the guy then turned to his huge scary friend and told him what had just been said.The next thing we knew the big guy hops on the phone and points right at us ant says “I’m looking for yooouuu” then slowly moves his finger around . we were so freaked out, we thought for sure our gig was up.But it turned out he didn’t know shit. Any way later we told some of our piercer friends about it a lunch (they work at iris piercing and rock!)they thought it was funny and we all had a good time talking about it. A few hours after getting back from lunch we get a call,the guy said” found you fuuuckkeerr” then hung up. we were sure we were getting jumped if we went out side. But a couple days passed and no one got beat up or shot. soon we ran into our friends from that lunch, and the fist thing said was ” found you fuckers”. it was good to know the prank had been turned on us and there we no angry gangsters!