(6 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)

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Soooooo…… I was at Goodtimes for my weekly sesh with V.I.C. we got into my appt about 10 minutes when we noticed  a pair of dirty ass white jeans in the middle of the sidewalk in front of the shop.   Paul came over to scope em out and said   ” I wish we had some fake blood or something to put on those pants.”   Vic looks at us like we’re retarded and says…..” I have some fake blood right here!”  So naturally Paul and Vic go outside……poor fake blood on these jeans and roughs em up.  He procedes to the back of the shop and comes out with a sign made from cardboard and fake blood that reads  “Free Pants”  Lets just say that there werent many takers……however there were MANY scopers!!!  Free Jeans??? are you kidding me!!?? hahahaha

(8 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)

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So about 8 years ago, like many times in a tattoo shop, the topic of porn is brought up.  This soon takes a turn into the discussion of “midget” porn, and everyone wondering if anyone had seen one before.  A coworkers client actually had, and we joked and laughed about it for a bit, etc etc.

About 2 weeks later, he stops in the shop with a gift he’d purchased for us in Vegas.  Yes, it was Small person porn.  We threw it in, and watched Bridgette the Midget hop out of a suitcase, and do her thing, and laughed and make cracks about it.  What happened next made me think Ashton Kucher was gonna pop out any second.  Not 30 minutes later, a 6’4″ black dude, walks in with his pregnant midget(hope this isnt to unPC) girlfriend.  Our piercer had been at lunch just after the movie had ended, and just came back though the door.  He looks over, and says “Hey guys….See ya guys.” And b-lines it to the back room laughing.

Her Boyfriend got tattooed, and told us all about how he’s a rapper, and makes beats on his playstation 2.  They were expecting a child, and when she lifted up her shirt to show us her stomach, she had “Shorty” in old english, stomach arched on her little tummy.  Probably the coolest thing Id ever seen.  Wherever you are Shorty, HIGH FIVE!

(4 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)

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so I’m in the supermarket yesterday and I hear “hey tattoo guy!” where ever I go this seems to be my name, you too huh…anyway it’s this older woman who was in like a week before with her man she had him get Victoria”s! in script right above his crotch just sticking out of the belt line a bit she can’t wait to reach me at the end of the isle to tell me she broke up with him later that day, she found out he was cheating on her for over a year with a co-worker and wanted to get him back so now he has her name over his junk like it’s a billboard for a diner and he wants to sue her to have it removed! I just kind of stood there unamused and the only words I could find is “you bitch” as I passed her on my way to the checkout
one time I had a couple walk into the shop -this is a few years back- young and pretty they both could have been models, well they wanted to get each others names I explain the deal how there young it may seem like a good idea today but a year or two down the road they might not be so happy with the name of there ex on them they both demand I do it anyway.
you see where this is going right..he goes first her name real nice on his wrist as I am wrapping him up she just looks at us both and sez I changed my mind I don’t wanna do it, he loses it the start fighting in the front room it a busy weekend with tons of people in the shop so I go out and ask them to take it down the block, he shows up an hour later asking me about a cover-up cause they broke up and he hates that bitch! maybe the quickest anyone ever regretted there tattoo.

(4 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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so coming back to the shop from lunch i notice what looks like from my view a rhinoceros ass with girl gear pissing on our shops front patio chairs. a step closer i realize  it was a homeless mess of woman with her disgusting panties soaking in a puddle around her ankles. out comes the wound up shop buminator, screaming.[ INSERT PROFANITY HERE.) pushing, her HARD with a kick type leg extension. bitch goes down. I stand in awe. then the eruption occurs. she completely loses it. screaming at the top of her lungs, hands flailing, she starts to accuse of me and my coworker of being lead members of the kkk due to our sweet arm tattys. and tells us how we were somehow the cause of her long crack addiction. wow. this goes on for at least five minutes. then in the heat of the mostly one sided scream-bate of how this she-hulk wound up pissing on our chairs someone decides to take the matter into their own hands. a beer can flies from one of the apartments above the shop, SMASHING this woman’s face the F@#K in! forehead split open like a split watermelon. she runs off. we were speechless. we go back into the shop(not laughing hysterically, just sayin). two minutes later she’s back, but now with bum reinforcements demanding we come outside and meet our doom. of coarse we don’t want to meet any doom especially this kind of doom, so we opt to lock the door and finally call the cops. she begins smearing her blood all over the windows. holy sh#t. bitch is crazy. cops arrive and she couldn’t be happier to see them. she runs over to fill them in on our injustice done to her people by getting tattooed or whatever she thinks we did in her crazy head movies? she then is tackled,stripped searched and taken to jail for possession of crack. go figure. we then had to clean her probably disease infested blood of of our beloved store front. I’m pretty sure there is still blood stains on the sidewalk. gross. so what did we learn kids? don’t do crack or you’ll get smashed in the face maybe.

(7 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5)

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In ’99, I was working at a shop 30 minutes out of SLC.  I had a guy walk in, and want his tiny iron eagle on his upper arm(rocker spot) covered up, with an even bigger iron eagle.  He handed me some book called, ‘the rise and fall of blah blah blah…’ and pointed out an image of the one he wanted.  I started drawing it on his arm, and as a neared the bottom where the swastika is clenched in the little birdies feet, he said, “Oh, by the way, I dont want the swastika in there.  Im dating a Jewish girl right now, but if things dont work out Ill come back and have you add it later on.”

Later telling the story to my co-workers and boss, everyone laughed but my boss.  He tried to convince me that maybe this guys girlfriend was the prejudice one for not accepting the fact that he was a racist and not wanting her boyfriend to have a Nazi tattoo.  And that she should respect him for setting his beliefs aside and willing to give her a chance with him.  Its strange that I amongst 20 other artists in town no longer work for the old man. Ha!

(1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)

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Hello,

I love this new format, its gonna be alot of fun! Well here goes. In 05 my wife and i went to the motor city tattoo convention and met Guy and Michelle, she gave Sarah two mandalas on her shoulders and told us we should come to her studio and finish a chest piece. A year later we went to southern illinois where the shop is located. We greeted Guy and Michelle at a diner and headed to the studio from there.  Once there Michelle let us know we would have company. We would be joined by Guy, Mike Cole and Carson Hill. They were collaborating on carsons sleve. Stenciling was first it took some time to place the stencils perfect. After that Sarah started to get inked! Mike and Guy spent hours stenciling Carson and began the tattoo the same night. Both crews worked late into the night Sarah was finished that day with9  hours under the needle!! We got back at the hotel around 11:30p. The next day more of the same, 5 hours for sarah and who knows how many days for Carson. After we were done we had planned to attend th St. Louis Old School tattoo convention. There we got to show off our New School treasures!

(8 votes, average: 4.88 out of 5)

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So working in a tattoo shop seems to be the place to stick your foot in your mouth, more than anywhere Ive ever been.

When I was apprenticing in ’99, a co-worker of mine who was also an apprentice was making a line drawing for some old english writing that said, “Made in the USA.”  I walk up and jokingly said, “Oh no fair! You get to do that?!”  He replied, “Why you wanna do it?”  without realizing the kid was about 6 feet away, I said, “Fuck no!  I hate that crap!”  He then whispered, “Dude, he’s right there.”  I kinda snuck around him feeling bad, and realized I should be more careful around the shop so this wont happen again(which is impossible)

I decided to go to lunch, and as I passed them in the middle of the tattoo session, I decide to redeem myself by walking over and saying, “Looks good!  Thats pretty cool man!”  Then returning from lunch, I swear to this day I saw the kid walk out the door.  So once again, I start going off, “What a dumb thing to get!” “Did he lose a bet!?” “Hes gonna be so bummed” etc etc.  Then I get nudged again by my co-worker, “DUDE, Hes right there!”  I look up, and homeboy is staring right at me.  I kinda walk into a back corner of the shop unexposed to the front, and wait until the kids friends pick him up.  I was working a second job from 6pm-2am at the time, and ended up an hour late to my other job cause I didnt want to walk of shame past them all.

10 years later, I still cant seem to keep my foot out of my mouth.

(3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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I was tattooing this girl, nice girl wonderful smile looking to get tattooed on her shoulder blade so I start working la de da de da just trucking along when I feel her get cold and clammy and just as I notice… slam her head drops now I have her sitting in a metal folding chair backwards -straddling the chair ya know- she passes out I grab her as quick as I can, this all happened in like seconds I pulled her up by her shoulders like a dead fish totally limp and bleeding from her mouth when she dropped her teeth smashed into the back of the chair when she came to all her top teeth were loose just kinda hanging there dangling I was freaking out trying to help her out all she wanted from me was to finish as quick as I could so she could goto the hospital I never saw her again nor have I ever use a metal chair to have them sit backwards in

(6 votes, average: 2.83 out of 5)

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ok so I wanna know why there isn’t like 30,000 stories here yet? we all got a million… everyday I walk away from work with at least one good story… so let me start with an oldie 

Back in the early 90′s I was working on st. marks in new york and I had these sweet looking girls come in the shop, four early 20′s hotties from north carolina real wholesome cornfed knockouts real small town girls who came to new york for a girls gone wild weekend adventure. We used to get a lot of that in that shop good girls from out of town looking to put a few skelton’s  in there closet, and hell I was always open to be That Guy! one of the first things on most of these girls gone wild weekends was to get a tattoo and the cherry on top of that was to fuck the tattooist!  I guess cause it always worked out that way… well enough back story so these girls come into the shop it’s late friday night and were looking to close but these chicks are way to hot to ask to leave  me and my friend who was working the front were the only one’s still in the shop the all pick out what they want and I get to work all the tattoo’s are little bread and butter kanji’s ect. so the last girl to go is so smoking and kinda the ringleader blond with huge sweatermeat but when it get to be her turn she get all shy and is telling me she wants to put her kanji for love on her bikini line but is way to shy to pull her pants down this goes on for like almost half an hour now all the other tattoos were on wrist ankle shoulder ect. and her friends are cheering her on by now but she tells me she not that type of girl she is very involed in church and blaa blaa blaa so I’m getting pissed finally I turn and tell her “Ok baby this is the deal you take off your pants and everyone in the shop will strip down to there underwear I’ll do the tattoo in my underwear!” only kidding  but as I turned around her friends are all stripping off there shit… I turned beat red looked at my boy rich and said somedays you gotta work harder then others huh? strip off my shit now everyone is standing in my room in there underwear just kinda waiting for the other shoe to drop I sat down and tattooed this chick half way through I see my boy take one of the girls off to another room… we sat talking about porno movies and what really turned them on during sex..I spent the next three days with that blond in my apt. she never got to see new york city beyond the walk back to my apt.

(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)

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A guy walks into our shop and starts to look through some of our books, At the time I was getting a stencil ready for a apptment. So the guy comes up to me with one of the books in his hand and asks “Yo dude how much to tattoo a hair line”. At first I thought the guy was joking untill he takes off his beanie and then I know that he meant what he just said.